Reflections

This week is a week I know many of us are feeling the feels. In my city, it’s the week before spring break, which marks a year since we went into lockdown because of a virus whose name we had only just started hearing. Plans were disrupted and lives put on hold as we waited to see just what it meant to be in a global pandemic. Twelve months later and we’re still trying to understand the full impact of COVID-19 on ourselves and our communities.

Each of us has a story to tell.

There is so much I can say about this past year: what has been hard, what has been good, what I’ve learned and what I’ve had to unlearn, where I’ve grown and where I’ve been stuck. Each of us has a story to tell. But as I sat down at my daughter’s desk to write this morning, my eye landed on a picture on her pin-board. It’s one of a set of three that a friend sent to each of my girls several years ago. After hunting down the other two, I saw in the images a way to reflect on this past year.

Courage.

The first image is of a girl wearing flight goggles, setting her chin squarely to the wind. She is flanked by a lion who you can tell goes with her into whatever it is she’s about to face. This is how I felt going into the pandemic: brave, in spite of my fear, because I felt confident that my God was beside me to weather the storm. This courage gave me the confidence I needed to help others as we navigated uncharted waters together.

Comfort.

However, after months of isolation, a summer of racial unrest, and a fall of political upheaval, I began to feel the reverberations of a rattled world. Motivated by love, empathy, and an innate need to make sense of it all, I embarked on a different journey that has challenged my beliefs and my worldview. The second image of a pensive girl, chin resting on hand, is what caught my attention this morning. I imagine her, like me, wrestling with theologies and ideologies in an attempt to discover truth. The tiger nestling up against her is a source of great comfort. It reminds me that, while this season has felt unsettled and lonely, my God is near and patient - not at all perturbed by my questions and doubts.

Carefree.

The last image, of a girl dancing with abandon, is one I anticipate with hope. This has been a year of great disruption and deep disappointment, profound grief and necessary growth. We are all changed by a world shaken to its core. To think all will return to normal is not only naive, but negates the need for the changes this year has attested to. Whilst it has felt difficult and heavy at times, I know my God, like the playful elephant, waits to lead me in a carefree dance where once again my soul can breathe and my spirit soar.

Wherever you are in the world this week, don’t be surprised by the memories that resurface as we reach the anniversary of events from a year ago. Lean in to the discomfort, remember the pain, look for where you showed courage or needed comfort, and respect how you have changed. Take time to reflect, share stories with your family and friends, and find a way to weave this in to your life’s narrative. Because, though we’re weary, and this may be one dance we would have preferred to sit out of, we’ve learned new steps and it’s time to get up and at least sway to the music.