S-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d

My girls are enjoying a new cartoon series on Netflix called Miraculous. So much so that Eliza painted one of her Lego dolls red and added some black Sharpie dots and a mask to create her new heroine, Ladybug. I won’t go into the details of how she saves the day by capturing negative emotions (because honestly, I’m still trying to understand it myself) but I will tell you that it got me wondering which superhero I am most like.

Almost as quickly as the question formed in my head, Elastigirl from The Incredibles popped into my mind’s eye. I could see her arms reaching around all the things she needed to take care of: a husband, three kids, running a household, and fighting off villains. I think it would be fair to say she felt stretched in more ways than one. 

Not only have I needed to be flexible, but I too am feeling stretched.

It didn’t take long to connect the dots for myself. In the ominous presence of a pandemic, I am juggling a husband and three kids at home, a household, and a new business. Not only have I needed to be flexible, but I too am feeling stretched. I’m not telling you this so you can pat me on my super-suit, but instead recognizing that we are all trying our best to cope with the changes and challenges that have been thrown at us. It’s like fighting a villain that just won’t go away.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget that I don’t have superpowers. I can’t just keep running at full pace and not expect some kind of fallout. With a pandemic showing no signs of slowing down, and a political climate heating up, I realized it was I who needed a change of mindset to allow for an undetermined end to this season of uncertainty. In superhero speak, my resources were depleted after fighting the first round of villains and I knew there would be a sequel. It was time for me to practice what I preach: self-care along with a healthy dose of self-compassion.

Self-care and self-compassion.

This has looked like taking one day at a time these past few weeks and being creative with ways to replenish my self-care reserves. Because, let’s face it, many of the things we want to do are still not possible in a pandemic. I’ve set aside my academic books and picked up a novel instead. I’ve taken afternoon naps on a picnic blanket under the tree in my backyard and traded in bootcamp for long walks in the neighborhood. I’ve met friends outside for coffee in the cooler weather, played with the puppies, watched sad movies and cried. I’ve turned down the noise and turned up my prayers. And ever so slowly, my powers seem to be returning to me.

On days when I get hard on myself, thinking I should be able to manage it all, I replay scenes of The Incredibles in my mind to practice self-compassion. There was a time when Elastigirl had to hide her superpowers and focus on raising a family - it’s okay if I have to set some personal goals aside too. Then there’s the scene where she shape-shifts into a parachute to save her kids, and I think of the unseen ways I’ve needed to mould myself to be a support to mine. When Elastigirl gently encourages her teenage daughter to gain confidence in using her superpowers, I think of the countless nights I’ve spent with my own daughter reminding her of her value and worth and innate ability. And when I think of her working with her family to overcome the villains, I’m encouraged to keep drawing on the strengths of my own family members as we continue pressing in together.

We are all superheroes right now - even on the days we feel like our capes are missing along with all the other single socks in the laundry pile. May we use our childlike imaginations to recognize just how strong and resilient we are and how much adversity we have already overcome. But let us also not forget how vigilant we need to be with rest and recovery, making sure we replenish our reserves and adjust our mindsets to stay in the fight and not lose hope.

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

Winston Churchill, 1942, after the British drove German troops out of Egypt marking a turning point in WWII.