#selfcaresunday

Let’s be real. Self-care feels selfish. How can I be taking care of my needs when I see so much need around me? Especially now, when our children are needing us more than ever before in roles we’re still figuring out how to do. Or when there are competing needs from work, our families, and our friends as we all strive to be flexible and help one another through this difficult time.

In caregiving roles, self-care is essential. I learned this watching my dad care for my mom through her terminal illnesses. For longevity of care, we need to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first before helping the person next to us, especially as we don’t know how long this is going to continue for. This doesn’t mean numbing ourselves by binge-watching TV or neglecting the needs of others, but instead setting up activities and practices on a regular basis to reduce stress and maintain our well-being.

In my training, I came across an acronym to help us address each area of need: SPICES.

✨Social: we are all wired for connection, which makes fulfilling this need in self-isolation one of our greatest challenges. Initiate a Zoom call with family, meet for virtual coffee with one of your single friends, connect with your kids or your spouse in new ways.

✨Physical: value and incorporate healthy nutrition, sleep, physical touch, and movement into your life. Go for a walk, do some gardening, take a warm bath, eat healthy meals. Set routines and stick to them.

✨Intellectual: give yourself down time, take on intellectual challenges, engage in stimulating conversations. Take a break from the news and listen to podcasts or audiobooks. Play board games or do a crossword puzzle.

✨Creative: explore the need to express yourself creatively through cooking, music, art, writing, tinkering with machines, or building projects.

✨Emotional: be aware of the need for affirmation and attention as well as to feel or express our emotions. Share your emotions with a trusted friend or send a card to someone who needs encouragement. Children can have high needs in this area and we may need to set healthy boundaries while still meeting their need for our attention.

✨Spiritual: recognize the need to feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. Get out into nature, pray, meditate, practice yoga, volunteer.

We don’t need to fill each of these areas every day, or even in every season we are walking through. Instead, recognize where you may be depleted in one or more and set an intention to attend to it. We also don’t need to wait until our cup is full before we help others, it’s merely understanding that we can’t show up for others in the way we’d like to if we ourselves are empty.

Let’s start a new practice where each Sunday we reevaluate our self-care routines and practices to boost our resilience and extend our ability to keep showing up for ourselves and others.

Start by asking yourself: which area am I needing to attend to this week?