Writing to Heal
“Write hard and clear about what hurts.”
Ernest Hemingway
Our minds are designed to try to understand things that happen to us. When we experience a traumatic event, a significant loss, or a major life transition like we are in this COVID season, our minds have to work overtime to try to process all that has happened. Anxious or obsessive thoughts may keep us up at night, distract us from work, and even make us less connected with other people. When we translate our experiences into language, we are essentially slowing down enough to put our thoughts into words in order to make sense of the situation. This can be done with a therapist or coach using talk therapy, or with a tool most of us have at home - pen and paper.
Writing has long been something I have used to debrief my experiences, from cross-cultural moves to raising three girls. Several years ago I joined a memoir-writing group at my local library where I satisfied the need to record my memories as I witnessed my mother losing hers to Alzheimer’s disease. What I discovered in these sessions was that writing helped me untangle my thoughts, understand my emotions, and release my pain onto an unsuspecting blank page. Writing helped me heal.
Writing helped me untangle my thoughts, understand my emotions, and release my pain onto an unsuspecting blank page.
So, when I came across the research of psychology professor, Dr. James W. Pennebaker at the University of Texas in Austin, I was not surprised by his findings. In his book, Writing to Heal, he writes: “People who engage in expressive writing report feeling happier and less negative than before writing. Similarly, reports of depressive symptoms, rumination, and general anxiety tend to drop in the weeks and months after writing about emotional upheavals.” Writing helps us focus and organize the experience by ordering events, finding patterns of thought, uncovering false beliefs, and becoming creators of our stories rather than mere victims.
This COVID season qualifies as an “emotional upheaval” and I believe writing about it could help us better understand ourselves and our responses. It could be the vehicle by which we process our trials in the midst of the Refiner’s Fire, as we discussed in my previous blog. For this reason, I have included Dr. Pennebaker’s writing assignment and tips for “Writing to Heal” below, as found in his book by the same name. There is no one way to go about writing or journaling, but I believe this is a good start as we begin to process this significant transition we find ourselves in. Remember to be curious with what you discover about yourself and to practice self-compassion along the way. Our goal is not to be critical about the situation or how we’ve handled it, but to get to the other side with a better understanding of ourselves and our response to it.
Dr. Pennebaker’s Basic Writing Assignment:
Over the next four days, write about your deepest emotions and thoughts about the emotional upheaval that has been influencing your life the most. In your writing, really let go and explore the event and how it affected you. You might tie this experience to your childhood, your relationship with your parents, people you have loved or love now, or even your career. Write continuously for 20 minutes.
Tips for Writing to Heal:
Find a time and place where you won’t be disturbed
Write continuously for at least 20 minutes
Don’t worry about spelling or grammar
Write only for yourself
Write about something extremely personal and important for you
Deal only with situations or events you can handle now
In the next blog in the series, I have written 10 Journal Prompts for you to use, as well as questions to ask yourself, and different genres for you to try as you begin the writing process. Should you wish for me to accompany you on this journey, please schedule a consultation below, join one of my Transition over Tea groups, or consider a writing workshop with me. I am here to help!