Growing in Grace
My dad taught me to fly fish. We would go to a friend’s farm on the escarpment in South Africa, where the cooler streams were the perfect habitat for brown and rainbow trout. I remember him patiently tying flies, only for me to get them stuck in a tree or bush behind me as I tried to cast. It’s a fine art to get that 10-to 2-o’clock arm movement growing steadily slower as you release more line before delicately landing the fly on the surface of the water. I can’t say I ever got to that level of graceful perfection, but it was enough to get the occasional thrill of a bite or to ultimately catch a fish.
I liked being outdoors in quiet places. I liked the art of casting itself. I liked the challenge of fishing the river instead of the dams. I didn’t always like the time it took to decide which fly to tie or what line to choose depending on whether the fish were feeding off the surface or in deeper eddies. Most of all though, I just liked being with my dad. Our time spent fishing together taught me patience and perseverance - with the sport as well as with myself. It was okay that I was a beginner and made mistakes. It was okay to like some things and not others. It was okay to try it on my own and also okay to ask for help, because for the most part my dad graciously provided it.
Patience. Empathy. Grace.
Teaching my own girls how to fly-fish in Colorado this week has had me needing to practice the same sort of patience and grace I observed in my dad all those years ago. When they grew irritable or got stuck in the trees behind them, or whipped the rod like they were beating a horse, I had to smile and help them try again. When they got bored, I had to put myself in their shoes and remember the times I had wished the river would supernaturally dry up so my dad would stop fishing and we could go home. With my kids starting online schooling this week, I’ve found myself employing these same skills learned fishing. Patience as we figure out a new way of doing things, empathy for my kids and their teachers as they engage in a virtual classroom, and grace for myself as I juggle our family working and schooling from home.
None of this is easy and many of us have not had to do anything like this before. We may be feeling frustrated, find ourselves being short with one another, or hard on ourselves as we try to manage this mess together. In the haste to move past the discomfort, however, I want to encourage us not to miss the moments and memories being made in the struggle. Yes, there are going to be parts of it we like and others we don’t, some things that come easily to us and others that will leave us stressed out or wanting to quit. But as it is with anything new that we try, there is growth in the process as we have grace for ourselves and those around us, and a reward for perseverance. Even if it is just in the time spent learning something new together. I keep reminding my kids (and myself) that we’re just going to take this school-from-home-thing one day at a time - like patiently tying one fly at a time, hoping we’ll eventually catch a fish!